I’ve alway had a lot of admiration for Flea of One Good Thing, and I’m hardly the only one. She writes movingly, and with great talent about very difficult things; rape, abortion, the challenges one of her children faces, and you can’t spent two minutes at her blog without noticing what a kind heart she has. Plus, her writing is often hilarious, especially when she writes about sex, and who couldn’t love that? She stood up for me in the recent ugliness of the comment threads at Sadly, No. It didn’t have any effect on the asshole contingent, but it meant the world to me. I’ve thanked her, this part of the post is another tiny nod in that direction, and I truly hope that in defending me she has not brought upon herself the ugly comments, e-mails and harassing phone calls I’ve been receiving. (Comments here are now in “heavy moderation” mode and careful records are being kept in the event that some people can’t stop making violent references, or show any indication of acting on them.) She is obviously a very strong person and I know she can handle whatever comes her way, but I am loathe to add to her burdens.
I explain all this to preface what follows because I want to be absolutely clear about the fact that I respect Flea greatly, and draw attention to what follows because I think it is thought-provoking and interesting: Flea’s FAQ on “Women Friendly Porn.” Here is an excerpt:
If you want straight porn that makes an effort to be feminist (as opposed to Digital Playground’s “woman-friendly” philosophy), with no implants, no starving women, more body acceptance, and female leads controlling the action, then yes, I’m going to recommend Urban Friction again, starring a real life girlfriend/boyfriend and shot right here in Chicago. (The feedback I’ve been receiving is that most straight men prefer the Digital Playground stuff to Urban Friction, so keep that in mind if you’re specifically getting it to watch with your husband/boyfriend.)
My question is, why is it that the only “feminist” porn Flea has identified, “with no implants, no starving women, more body acceptance, and female leads controlling the action,” is something that feedback suggests straight men do not want to watch? That if you want to watch porn with a man you are in a relationship with, the best you can really hope for is that he will enjoy something “women-friendly,” but still shy of being actually feminist?
I didn’t get any negative feedback for what I said, and
even if I do I’m not too concerned about it, so don’t worry.
And to be fair, Brad moved my comment out of the
comments section and to the main part of the post,
asking that posters refrain from attacking you further.
I know you said you haven’t been back to S,N!,
and I don’t blame you, but you should know that he
did that, at least.
Now, onto porn:
When I first opened the store, a friend asked me if I would
change the name of bachelorette parties to something
else, can’t remember exactly what, but she objected to
the term for feminist reasons. I said no, not because her
criticisms were invalid, but because as a business owner, I have
to face the reality of popular opinion and popular discourse.
If I’d used another term, fewer people would readily understand
what I meant, and that’s damaging in new business.
Using the term “Feminist Porn” presupposes that one believes
there can be feminist porn in the first place, and it lets
the buyer know that the dvd falls into some pretty strictly laid out
criteria, much like “Bachelorette Party” gives the average person an
idea of what items are being sold.
It’s a blur of politics and business that can be a bit confusing
Ultimately, I use the terminology of business, and hope
to take my customers down the road of feminism more
slowly, largely out of a necessity to get my bills paid.
In businesses that make an effort to be feminist (especially
in the sex industry) it is unbelievably difficult to gain
popularity *and* let your personal politics, which are usually
more strict than the mainstream, dictate the flow.
A lot of women that sell porn wrap themselves in the American
flag and wave the first amendment, and then try to justify
the majority of porn as being feminist. I don’t blame them
and I’m not judging them – being a feminist business owner
is all about unpleasant compromise, and both feminists and anti-
feminists are tough critics.
Personally, I belive that the overwhelming majority of porn is hate speech
against women. Even Playboy, which is run by a woman and
hires a lot of women in the upper eschalon of management,
who rarely speaks of women in degrading and abusive language,
still trolls for desperate and disenfranchised women to put
in their pages, which is a repellent thing to do.
As far as whether I believe that there can be feminist porn,
my answer is a firm “maybe.” Urban Friction is one of the
closest, but I bet there are plenty of valid arguments that
could be made against it.
I stand behind UF because I have met and spoken with the
director/producer and asked her about how the cast
and crew were treated, and whether the female cast members
were dependent on porn for a living (they aren’t – the cast
is composed of amateurs; well-educated college students
who responded to a casting call.) That is not your typical
porn film.
I’ve also spoken to the owner of Digital Playground, and
their actors are also carefully protected and not coerced.
Digital Playground differs because the women who own that
company are willing to hire actors with unrealistic body
types; the kind we’re told are the most attractive to men.
It’s true that women are watching more porn, and it’s
also true that the market is opening up for “women-friendly
porn” (I’m glad you noticed that distinction, by the way!)
But men still control the market, and the reality of that is that the common male fantasy, that of space boobs and the ass of a ten year old, is still going to be catered to.
Men’s privilege (and here I have to put in the “not all men feel this way” caveat” is so huge compared to women’s that they
can’t imagine prefering UF to a Jesse Jane film (for the
most part – to be fair, I do have male customers that
buy and enjoy UF. I like to think my male customers
are smarter and better than the average bear!)
And I enjoy some of the Jesse Jane films as well – my biggest
beef is her obvious breast implants on a too-petite body. To
me, that’s a serious issue, and is the main thing that makes
me classify it as “women-friendly” rather than “feminist.”
To me, the implants are far from women-friendly, but Jesse Jane’s treatment
both on and off camera, the obvious efforts to have women behind the camera,
the script that shows Jesse Jane in situations where she has to use
her brain rather than her body, and the friendly, amiable interactions
between Jesse Jane and the male porn stars on-camera (where they’re
smiling at each other, and the men treat the women with friendly affection and
respect) is what, IMO makes it women-friendly.
( I submitted this comment once, and I’m not sure it took. I edited the first one and can’t remember everything I rewrote. I hope that one went through. If it did, delete this one. It’s long, I know.)