From A Gentleman’s C:
Distressed Student: I’ve been having a really rough time lately, and I haven’t been performing as well in this class as I know I can. You see, I have a [really painful condition involving my nether regions] with [unpleasant details].
Angry Professor: []
Distressed Student: I know you probably didn’t want to hear any of that.
Angry Professor: If this is affecting your coursework, you should consider going to [Center For Coordination of Special Dispensations For Students With Issues]. They can contact your professors and tell them that you’re having trouble so that you don’t have to tell each one of them that you’re suffering from a [really painful condition involving your nether regions] with [unpleasant details].
Distressed Student: Oh. Thanks, I’ll do that.
