A friend forwarded me an e-mail that university “safety officers” distributed after a man was observed by a number of students publicly masturbating on campus:
CRIME PREVENTION TIPS:
1. QUICKLY walk away from an individual exposing his genitals and do not engage in conversation with the suspect.
2. DO NOT travel on foot after dark, if possible use a taxi or the shuttle. IF you must travel on foot, do so in groups on well lit, busy streets.
3. REMEMBER excessive alcohol consumption can make you a target to become a crime victim.
4. REPORT suspicious people on campus to [redacted phone number].
5. REQUEST an escort if traveling on campus late at night.
6. BE AWARE of your surroundings at all times.
Feel safer now? The sheer idiocy of the first suggestion is mind boggling. But what’s really incredible is that none of these “crime prevention tips” would have prevented the actual crime that occasioned its distribution: A man dropped his pants and began flagrantly wanking off in front of A GROUP of women on campus in BROAD DAYLIGHT who had NOT BEEN DRINKING, and they noticed him because they were AWARE OF THEIR SURROUNDINGS.