Gay Marriage Has Been Legal In California For Over Four Months Now..

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… so I thought I’d check in with my straight, married friends and see if they thought the institution of marriage had been irreparably damaged and FUBAR in the interim. After extensive surveying I’ve empirically ascertained that to everyone’s great relief, but evidently to no one’s surprise, it has not.

The children in my neighborhood continue playing in the streets (even if they have perfectly good yards, wtf?), shrieking loudly for no reason, darting into traffic, riding their bikes across my lawn, and trying to sell me overpriced gift wrap and foodstuffs to subsidize extra curricular activities at their beloved but underfunded local public schools, blissfully unaware of the looming threat to their futures posed by the gathering storm of the Homosexual Agenda. Or something.

NB: This post is a sideways plagiaristic homage to this post.

–Ann Bartow

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