I laughed out loud today when I read Cintra Wilson’s review (here) of the Tiffany & Co. branch on Wall Street. She compliments the interior design for its accommodation of the building’s original Beaux-Arts details. She restrains herself in talking about the jewelry, describing the Elsa Peretti hearts as “gloopy,” and saying that one bracelet looks like a “cubist zucchini.” The best, though, was her description of the ubiquitous silver heart one can find on bracelets, necklaces, earrings, key rings:
I have always been mystified by Tiffany’s heart-shaped silver dog tags, worn on a choke chain, with the engraved instructions, “Please return to Tiffany & Co.” This, I have always assumed, is precautionary: If your lady gets lost, someone will put her on a plane back to the jewelry store. In any case, they are hugely popular.
I’ve never liked the aesthetics of this particular line of jewelry, and I especially don’t like seeing pre-teen girls wear it (eww). I agree with Cinta that the “please return to” charm is just darn weird. There’s the women-as-pets motif, which is clear, and the if-I’m-lost-I’m-too-dumb-to-know-where-to-go angle. But let’s assume that the wearer separates accidentally or involuntarily from her bauble. What is the chance that lost or stolen jewelry will be returned to Tiffany?